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The Redneck Night Before Christmas

original author unknown

`Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the shack
Not a creature was stirrin`, cept the lice on muh back.
The skoal cans wuz nailed to the screen door with care,
With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were sleepin`, all snug in their beds,
While visions of tractor pulls danced in their heads.
And Ma in her nightgown all stained with pound cake.
Had just settled down to watch Ricki Lake. (more…)


A Little Christmas Story‏

A Little Christmas Story

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Girl quits her job on dry erase board, emails entire office (33 Photos) (via theCHIVE)

This is pretty awesome.

[chivegalleryEx] UPDATE: Jenny's identity revealed! CLICK HERE. … Read More

via theCHIVE

The Statue

This is very inspirational!

This statue currently stands outside the Iraqi palace,
Now home to the 4th Infantry division


Indonesian caught having sex with cow, claims he was seduced (via Creeping Sharia)

Maybe “moo” means something different over there?

World's most populous Muslim nation. Do the math. ROP. via Man claims cow seduced him for sex – Weird News. An 18-year-old Indonesian man says he was seduced by a cow, and that's why he was having sex with it. A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly wooing the farm animal on Sunday, the village chief on the resort island of Bali said, the Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South Africa reported Friday. "He was caught by one of the residents … Read More

via Creeping Sharia

S&M Tattooed Sphynx Cats

This is wrong on sooooooooo many levels, but I still can’t stop laughing.

“Sphynx owners often dress their cat to help keep it warm and healthy. This breed also needs to be bathed to remain clean. Like a parent might assist their child in putting on a temporary tattoo, some Sphynx owners frequently tattoo their cat.

And then there are the Russian Sphynx breeds with more extreme tattoos and fashions like those below.” (more…)

Man Busted by Traffic Camera Gets Unique Revenge on Police

“Man Busted by Traffic Camera Gets Unique Revenge on Police”
It goes without saying, but we’re gonna go ahead and say it anyway: Nobody likes getting a speeding ticket. And that’s especially true when said ticket isn’t issued by a human officer, but from a machine set up to catch unwary motorists off guard. If only there was some way to get back that lost sense of justice…